Thank you to everyone who entered our Parsons Bush Short Story Competition. Lovely to read your entries, and the Deepdale Crew have enjoyed judging the stories. Huge congratulations to Margaret who won the competition.
WINNER
Margaret – Age: 64
The bells of St. Mary’s rang out in the night, And the beacon on the round tower gave out goodly light.
Word spread like wildfire of a ship on the sands, And the call went out, “we need some more hands”.
With no thought for their safety, their sweethearts they kissed, And manfully rowing took off into the mist.
As dawn was a breaking they appeared through the pines, Not with survivors, but with tobacco and wines.
As they divided the spoils, there fell a slight hush, Then “ Bravo to the Parson, leave his share by the bush”.
Jill – Age 65
The parson of St Mary’s was a nasty piece of work and his parishioners loathed him. The rector of St Margaret’s became unwell so the parson had to take on extra duties. He cut across the fields near Deepdale Farm to walk there and was shocked to come across a lovestruck young couple getting quite carried away! He dashed back to the parsonage and returned with a bucket of cold water with which he dowsed the pair. Word soon got around that the thicket which was hitherto known as Groper’s Gorse, would now be known as Parson’s Bush!
Lynda – Age 66
As Halloween approaches,
Let me tell you a tale,
Of a parson who couldn’t hold his liquor,
And his journey down to Deepdale.
The parson was called from his drinking,
To administer a man the last rites,
Who was quickly sinking,
Towards his maker that very night.
The parson set off in haste,
Although he didn’t like leaving his drink,
But never made his destination,
What happened to him, do you think?
So if you find yourself walking,
By the bush where his horse was found,
Walk quickly on, don’t linger,
For the parson might still be around!
Sam & ChatGPT – Age ?
Parsons Bush got its name from a combination of a local legend and some cheeky humor. According to the tale, a particularly enthusiastic minister named Parson Smith was known for his “bush” parties—think wild gatherings filled with questionable dance moves, questionable choices, and even more questionable attire.
One fateful night, after a few too many “holy spirits,” Parson Smith decided to bless the local shrubbery with his presence. He stumbled into a particularly dense patch of bushes and, well, let’s just say he left a bit of his “sermon” behind.
The locals, witnessing the scene, couldn’t help but crack jokes about the “Parson’s Bush” and how it was now a sacred spot for anyone looking for a good time—or a good laugh. So, every time someone mentions Parsons Bush, you can bet they’re thinking of a little mischief and a whole lot of laughter, all thanks to a parson with a penchant for partying a bit too hard!
Lisa – Age 58
Edgar Parsons, an amateur inventor with an eye for oddities, wandered into a field and encountered a mysterious bush at its centre. The bush shimmered in and out of view, like an old TV signal. Curious, Parsons touched it and was instantly caught in a time loop, reliving his entrance into the field repeatedly. Local legend says anyone who gets too close may wander for eternity, but Parsons was eventually spat out after realising the key to escape was not to question the bush’s existence. The field was named after him: a reminder not to mess with the weird stuff.
Oriel – Age 62
One Sunday in the spring of 1934 the Burnham Deepdale parson woke up very late after a session at The Jolly Sailor. He was due to do the 0900 at Burnham Thorpe and was looking forward to a brisk walk in the spring sunshine. But he was too late to walk, or even run. Panicking, he spotted one of those new 2 wheeled contraptions lying on the other side of the bush. He wrestled with his conscience, looked around, tucked his surplice into his breeches and sped off down the road. On return he placed the bicycle, for that was apparently the name of the beast, back behind the bush, and returned to the Jolly Sailor.